Decolonial Love Notes to Myself

by Jana-Rae Yerxa

I want to be fucking great!
Amazing!
Not in an egotistical way
Where it’s about dominance
No, not like that
This wanting
This desire
This need
Is rooted in love
Only love
A humble, righteous Anishinaabe love

I want to be fucking great!
Amazing!
Where I feel alive and exhilarated
I want to be seen
Surrounded by people that truly see me
I want to be celebrated by others
For the very things that I love and admire
About myself
Where I am appreciated
Because I know I am incredible
And they do too

I want to be fucking great!
Amazing!
I want to invest
In myself
In others
In doing things that help me to thrive and bloom
Where I am constantly evolving
To be
The best version of me

I want to be fucking great!
Amazing!
Where I am honouring my gifts
Those that were given to me
By sharing them with the world
And rather than them coming out
Because I have to push against
They are welcomed and embraced
Because I have found my place of belonging
Home

I want to be fucking great!
Amazing!
Where I am not scared to say this
That I want to be fucking great and amazing
Where it is okay for me
To say this out loud
And not be misinterpreted
Because this is what I strive for
Greatness
You feel me?
Where it is okay to be
Fucking great and amazing!
Because that is what I am
Fucking great and amazing!

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Jana-Rae Yerxa is Anishinaabe from Treaty #3 Territory. She belongs to the Sturgeon clan and her home community is Couchiching First Nation. She has a Masters of Social Work degree from Lakehead University and a Masters of Arts degree in Indigenous Governance from the University of Victoria.