by Geraldine King
Howah, so dis one time, eh. Me and you know dat one guy from Rocky Bay? Yeah, dat guy with the cha real deadly snaggle toot? Well anyways one night we were walking back from de hall and den alla sudden he just grabs my hand and I’m tinking “hooooollllleeeeehhhh”. So I says “wanna go back to my place? My kids are at gokmiss house.” Of course he says yes, eh. I guess me must have heard dat I make a real deadly McBannock sandwich aahhhnnnn! So anyways we get to my place and I just got real shy. He was all asking me about my bannock. How soft it was; if da hole was real big. Howah I just started laughing so hard! I guess dat kinda made me loosen up a little bit because den I just started putting the blocks to him, eh. I mean I guess he knew he was gonna get poonched once I started hanging de sheet up on the doorway of de bedroom, just holding it in place with butter knifes ahhhhnnn. Well I had to be careful eh coz sometimes my kids don’t wanna stay all night at gokmiss so dey come home early. So anyways we’re just going at it, and den he just starts sounding like the lead singer of Whitefish Bay Singers; here I was thinking whether I should pinch his troat for him just so he could get that real crisp sound, eh. Den wouldn’t you know it, he barely lasted two pushups! Now I guess I know why everyone calls him Microwave – just done real fast ahhhhhhnnnnnn!
Geraldine King is Anishinaabekwe from Kiashke Zaaging Anishinaabek (Gull Bay First Nation). Geraldine is a Master’s student in the Indigenous Governance Program at the University of Victoria where her primary research interests are centred on Indigenous erotica as viable resurgent governance praxis. Geraldine is the Managing Editor of Intercontinental Cry Magazine, a publication of the Centre for World Indigenous Studies.